i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
