I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
