Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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