she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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