A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
