Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
