Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
