is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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