I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My pussy is not your playground.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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