I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
