Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i would punch a child for taco bell
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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