remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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