Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
