The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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