There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize