Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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