There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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