have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize