U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize