oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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