I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
