do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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