Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
being pregnant is like rehab
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
