I want to walk on stilts...naked
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
