Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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