Fuck appropriateness.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
