some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Pappa wants mamma naked
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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