But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
