If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
