Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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