so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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