We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
