I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
