watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
