another moral hangover. fuck.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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