Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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