why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
