I bet he comes in French.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
