pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
