I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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