I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Randomize
