ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
