my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
