we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize