good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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