I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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