she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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