I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
