Where is the hickey?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
