HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
