hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
