no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
