The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
