Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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